project-happenings

Growth is Sometimes Scary

Marissa Southards

Some days I do an amazing job of getting out of my own way.  Some days, I just really suck at it.  Some days, I'm so fucking awful at it, that I just cave in defeat and spend the day on my couch eating junk food and debating whether or not I will put on pants. 

I think we all have those days though?  (Right???)

Recently, I haven't had many of those days.  I've really been making a conscious effort to dip my toes into the unknown and live with my entire authentic self.  I consider each situation and minute decision placed in front of me, and I actively make a decision, thereby becoming an active role player in my own life. 

You know what though?

It's scary AS FUCK. 

Awakening and living in your truth is never easy.  I never said it was.  It hard as hell stepping up a to society that has often demeaned you and devalued you, like that douchey ex you had in high school.  As women, many of us have been so conditioned to believe the bullshit that society spews as us as it dictates how we should live and behave.  Breaking out of that is HARD.  Speaking your truth and stepping into that role as an active player in how you live your life is breaking through all the conditioning we've been through.  It's stepping over the boundaries placed upon us by those "in charge".  It's tearing down the damned wall! 

It's not easy, but it's cathartic as hell.  Once you get past the initial panic of course. 

The first time you break through that conditioned behavior, you'll have an initial moment of pure freak out.  You'll be screaming inside "What did I just DO?  This isn't like me!".  No dear, it IS you.  It's just the real you that you've been nudging aside to make everyone around you comfortable.  Breathe through that panic, stand up taller, and BE REAL AGAIN! 

It's scary to grow into your authenticity.  It's scary to remove that conditioning and all those boundaries.  It's a little frightening to speak your truth into existence.  

But I promise you one thing - you will feel so much more at ease with YOU.  And that?  That's priceless.  Don't make yourself uncomfortable for the sake of someone else's comfort.  You are worth so much more than that. 

You're fucking magical, remember? 

 

M. 

 


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